Pablo Keneth Kimuli asks What is in a mini skirt

Miniskirt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

By Pablo 98736

My literature lecturer used to tell us that a good speech is like a miniskirt – long enough to cover the subject but short enough to keep the interest. It is interesting how the government has picked keen interest in the miniskirt which has been around since time immemorial.
When you read those Jehovah’s Witness magazines, they have illustrations of Adam and Eve covering themselves with cassava leaves after eating the forbidden fruit. It gives you the impression that miniskirts and kilts began in the Garden of Eden.

The miniskirt in Uganda is facing extinction after latest threats by the government to put a ban on them. They are suspected to be the main cause of corruption in public service, misappropriation of funds in the private sector and ghost spouses in the informal sector. The social media is buzzing with all sorts of views and opinions from concerned citizens.

I bumped into a poetry session organized by a women’s movement that prefers to call themselves ‘Save The Miniskirt activists.’ Ironically none of them was wearing a miniskirt. They spoke passionately about the infringement on their rights and how they need to stand up and be counted.

I was impressed by a young lady who gave us her own rendition of William Shakespeare’s works: “To wear or not to wear a miniskirt? That’s the question. Whether it’s nobler in mind to suffer the slings and arrows of this outrageous fortune or take up arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them?”

But what is a miniskirt? According to the dictionary, a miniskirt is a short skirt. So, how short should a skirt be to qualify as a mini? Will the government arrest those who wear very short skirts with leggings? Where do swimming costumes fall? Will the Williams sisters ever play tennis in Uganda? What happens to games like netball where miniskirts are part of the sport? I can’t imagine girls playing netball in gomesi.

Some of us wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for those miniskirts. I perused through my mum’s and aunties’ albums that have photos of them in their hey days. You couldn’t tell whether they were wearing a short dress or a long blouse with astonishing high-heel shoes called kakondo. They looked very decent with afro hairstyles, yet strikingly beautiful.

Some women today have gone ahead to emulate our parents, though some of them evidently turn their children’s dresses into blouses. I hear they call them dress tops. Others have decided to turn body stockings into leggings. If miniskirts were the chief cause of promiscuity, then prostitutes wouldn’t be wearing trousers. They would all be wearing miniskirts. It is the mindset that needs to change.

A man can mentally undress you even if you are in a gomesi or sackcloth. I don’t know if the government officials pushing for the ban on miniskirts would survive a week in Swaziland. The ladies there are always bare-chested, including some of the traffic officers. I don’t know whether they have visited the remote areas of Karamoja to see the naked truth.

I keep wondering, why the fuss about miniskirts, not a pair of shorts? They are of the same length. I see very tall men wearing shorts which could easily pass as undergarments, walking freely on the streets and in the malls. What if women decided to sew the miniskirt and turn them into shorts, would it make a big difference?

But just as my literature lecturer used to say, there is more than meets the eye. I don’t know what is in this miniskirt that the government wants, but for now let me cover this subject to keep the interest.